4-year-old: Do you have any gum?
Me: No. Ask Daddy.
[4-yo goes upstairs, comes back down]: Daddy’s in the shower. he says i can have gum when he gets out.
[4-yr-old considers something]: Can I sleep with gum?
Me: that wouldn’t be a good idea. It could get stuck in your hair or make you choke.
4-yr-old: But can I get IN my bed with gum?
Me: I suppose. Why?
4-year-old: Because what I want to do is get some gum and then go in my bed and chew gum and play with my penis.
Me: Sounds like you have a plan.
[4-year-old leaves, I proceed with my plan, which is to make a tart]
Garlicky Green Tart with Sunflower Crust
3 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/2 lbs chard or kale, washed, trimmed and cut into smallish pieces
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 cup shredded parmesan cheese
3 tbsp whole wheat flour (or your favorite wheat-free)
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
Heat oven to 400. Heat olive oil and crushed garlic in a large pan and add greens, dusting with salt and pepper as the greens wilt. Remove from heat after 3-5 minnutes and set aside. In a medium-sized bowl, mix egg, cheese, and flour. Add vinegar and stir. Add greens and sunflower seeds to egg mixture and combine well. Grease a springform pan (8 or 9 inch) or a tart pan. Spread the mixture into the pan, pressing down firmly and making sure the mixture is evenly distributed. Bake for about 10-12 minutes until egg is set and cheese is melted. Let pan sit for a couple of minutes before removing springform ring. Cut into slices and serve warm or room temperature.